We hear it all the time: Finances are the number one cause of stress in relationships and that's why it's important that you discuss your finances with your partner. In fact, a 2020 survey found that 44% of Americans surveyed who are married or living with a partner admitted to hiding debt, an account (such as checking or credit card), or spending from their partner.
A survey of more than 650 members of my company last month shed even more light on this statistic, as nearly 40% of respondents said they would rather discuss end-of-life planning than financial planning with loved ones.
With the month of love upon us, tangible gifts are nice, but implementing acts of love discuss your finances with your partner is equally or more important. So show your partner that you are committed to your relationship with a money quote.
A money date is a time for couples to open up about money and clarify their financial past, present, and future. It may not sound romantic, but talking about finances is a necessary part of maintaining a healthy relationship. And as awkward as it may seem, having the conversation demonstrates commitment and lays the foundation that allows other parts of the relationship to thrive.
To facilitate your process of discuss your finances with your partner, here are five tips to set yourself up for success.
– Do a self-assessment. Before you discuss your finances with your partner, you'll need to take some time to do a personal financial self-assessment. Identify your financial goals, and assess your progress toward each one. Take stock of your debts, as well as your income and savings. Make sure everything is accounted for as you will want to capture your complete financial history. Also, be ambitious and share what you hope to achieve in your financial future.
– Set the scene. Put the "date" in "money date". Just because you're going to talk to your partner about finances doesn't mean you shouldn't find a good place to have the discussion. Make sure the place is comfortable and private enough to have an open and honest discussion. Consider a date on the beach, in a nice cafe, or in another intimate place suitable for conversation.
Read More: Budget Tips for Valentine's Day
– Plan what you want to talk about. When it comes to dating for money, getting the hard stuff out first is the way to go. Consider starting the conversation with the most pressing of your financial concerns, and address your immediate expectations and needs. The conversation could turn to how you will cope with a job change or loss, health care costs, moving, or family planning. Want to talk about going on a spending diet to help save for a big trip? Add it to the topic list. The key is to make sure you're on the same page as to how you plan to handle your financial life (either together or separately).
– Schedule a second appointment. When your first money date is complete, get another one on the calendar. Money date magic is unlocked with consistency. A regular money date calendar allows you to track your finances together and see how close you are to meeting your financial goals.
– Last but not least – remember to celebrate milestones! The path to financial health is not always easy, but remember that you are not walking it alone. Celebrate financial successes as a team to keep your momentum going, and reward yourself when you meet your financial goals. Go see a new movie you've both been wanting to see, or go on a road trip. Recognize your success, and celebrate together as a result of having decided discuss your finances with your partner
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